Sometimes it just takes a change in perspective for a person to move forward from difficult situations in life.
I had a client who felt like she was in a hopeless situation. Let’s call her Charo.
Charo is married with kids and felt that she single-handedly raised her kids, put them through high school and college. She manages her family’s finances while her husband wastes away the years in a long-extended depression. Her husband refuses to find a productive job after losing his OFW contract more than 10 years ago.
At one point during our coaching, I could feel all of Charo’s anger, resentment and frustration. She described in sheer frustration: “This is not what I signed-up for!” Charo felt helpless as her husband was falling short of her expectations.
Charo later described in her own words: “I had an extreme lack of resources or knowledge of how to gain resources that are needed when the going gets tough. In a state of extreme lack, there breeds disappointment, pain, anxiety, lack of control and helplessness. I always feel incomplete, helpless, most of the time discouraged.”
During our coaching, I took her out of her default “sad story” state. You know how we can automatically feel the negative feelings each time we start to describe our sob stories.
I wanted Charo to experience a shift in perspective. I asked her to describe the situation as if she was a news reporter, looking at the situation from an outsider’s perspective. Almost instantly, she started to feel very objective about the situation, like it was just a story that she’s reading out from a news article.
She described: “I felt somehow relief, assured of myself that somehow these “not so good” things happened in my life are all my creations, my actions and my everyday approach in life. ”
Another way perspective helps is when you go into the shoes of someone you look up to, someone you respect, someone you would seek advice from. Through this process, they are able to think+feel things from a more positive point of view. They are able to discover new feelings, new solutions, have a better sense of control, they are able to identify next actions, and take charge of their response to the situation.
Charo described it this way: “During the coaching, God whispers to me and He said, this is one of those great, great small miracles I gave you and you should acknowledge it. God sent, Ed Soriano, one of His instrument to convey his message and explain why this things happening in my life. I was able to understand vividly what is my purpose in life.
“God is always beside me comforting me, listening to me, looking at me and crying with me and that no matter what happens He’s always there, ready to catch me if I fall. I look at life into a new perspective now.
Charo concludes: “Whatever you do to your life is a choice.”
After my coaching with Charo, I reminded her that things have changed in her heart and mind. It’s always very uplifting for my clients to experience coaching. Often, they are on a “high” from the coaching experience. And this continues on for the next days and weeks. Because of the changes in Charo’s heart and mind, the changes are revealed in her behavior too!
Charo described: “After our coaching, the next day, as I utter my prayer once again, I thank Him for an answered prayer. My officemate noticed that I am uttering a song without myself even noticing it. All I said is that “I chose to be happy and contented and fulfilled.”
Charo ends with gratitude: “Thank you so much for taking time out talking to me, listening, praying and giving me new perspective in life.”
Thank you, Charo for sharing your coaching experience with me. Thank you for allowing me to share your story to our readers.
Change of perspective. Just one of the many ways coaching is able to help you.
Best!
Coach EdWIN
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Note: For purposes of privacy, certain details of this story have been modified to keep Charo’s identity confidential.